Big Moves: Taking a Leave of Absence from Law School

Here’s the bombshell:  I’m leaving law school. 

Let me say this upfront - this is the biggest decision I’ve ever made.  I did not take it lightly, nor did I do it on a whim.  It’s been something on my mind for quite some time (whether it was conscious or not is up for debate) and my experiences this summer shed some much needed light on the issue. 

My time at Animal Aid participating in hands-on work with street dogs, cats, cows, and donkeys was beautiful.  Despite the soaring temperatures and my travel sickness, I was SO happy.  I got so much satisfaction from interacting with animals and directly aiding in their treatment and recovery.  I saw some remarkable recoveries and shared some tough moments.   Nothing was glamorous about what I was doing – I got dirty, sweaty, and smelly.  My clothes were covered in dirt, poo, and blood and my face was sunburned and stained with sweat and sometimes tears.  But I loved it and went home exhausted and happy at the end of the day. 

I spent the second half of my summer interning in New Delhi with India’s foremost animal law attorney.  I had the remarkable opportunity to work directly for the person responsible for most of the animal legal victories in India in the last 30 years.  I did research in an office, went to court, and attended the occasional press release or workshop.  I wore a suit and experienced an unexpected level of respect from advocates in the field just because of who I was interning with. 

These two experiences back to back made me realize how much I thrive on doing hands-on work.  I don’t want to sit in a desk or in a courtroom all day fighting for the abstract.  I want to be down on the ground making the changes - even if those changes seem smaller.  I want to see and feel the results of my work directly. 

My two major career goals are still the same: international disaster relief and international population control efforts.  Just my path has changed.  Instead of opening the doors through legal work for others to go in and do work on the ground, I want to be the one handling animals, working with people, and traveling.  I want to be the one getting dirty, not the one in a suit.  I want to be as mobile as possible and work all over the world.  

So what I am I doing now?

I’m staying in Portland and taking some prerequisite science and math classes in preparation for application to veterinary technology programs and maybe even vet school.  I’m looking for jobs at vet offices and humane societies.  I’m staying true to those resolutions I made for my return home (I’ve only blow dried my hair once and only put up with a tiny bit of bullshit so far).  And, of course, I’m looking for a way to go back to India for a while.  

On a ranty note: To my fellow law students, I love you all and I know you mean well, but if one more person says “oh you’re so lucky that you didn’t start classes this week” or “I’m so jealous of you,” I’m going to get upset.  I’m not that lucky and it’s a little offensive when you say that.   

This was one of the biggest decisions I’ve ever made and it threw my life into total chaos.  Everything I know in Portland has changed.  There have been many times this week when I wished I was sitting in class listening to a lecture instead figuring out how I’m going to pay my rent next month or looking for a job or worrying about student loans.    

So don’t be jealous.  I’m not having much fun right now.  There are a lot of speed bumps that are slowing me down.  But everything will get worked out eventually and I’ll get to where I’m trying to go. 

Though there have been lots of tears, I know I’ve made the right decision.  I want to come home from my job every day exhausted and happy.  I'm trusting my gut that being a lawyer won’t do that for me.  I’m taking a huge gamble but everything will always be okay in the end.  And if everything isn’t okay, then it’s not the end. 

He wanted all to lie in an ecstasy of peace; I wanted all to sparkle and dance in a glorious jubilee. I said his heaven would be only half alive; and he said mine would be drunk: I said I should fall asleep in his; and he said he could not breathe in mine ... At last, we agreed to try both.    

Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights 

Taking Charge

This summer has been good for me in so many ways.  I feel more in touch with myself than I have in a long time.  Traveling by myself forced me to be independent and, at times, bold.  I learned to trust others quickly, and to judge who could not be trusted.  I've made some incredible friends that I hope to keep for a long time.  

As silly as it may sound, I’m recognizing that I have a lot to bring to the table.  I’m not sure I’ve ever felt that way before; at least, not in a long time.  And I'm going to take charge of my life.    

This flood of positive feelings has led to some resolutions for my return back to real life in the States:

I'm not going to put up with much bullshit (some is always inevitable); and I’m not going to hang around people that don't make me happy or feel good about myself. 

I’m going to speak my mind more, and be more tolerant of others who do the same. 

I’m going to appreciate being able to drink water out of the tap – for real, I tend to forget what a luxury this is.  

I’m going to play more. 

I’m not going to spend time or energy on things that don’t feel right. 

I’m going to walk my dogs more.

I’m going to do more things by myself. 

I'm going to spend less money.  

I’m going to stress less about what I eat. 

I’m going to stop blow drying my hair as much. 

I’m going to smile more. 

Is this a clichéd Eat, Pray, Love kind of post?  Maybe.  But I’m okay with that.